my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
