She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
