you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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