i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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