If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
