She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
