Walk of Shame. In a state park.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
