I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
