Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I CAN MOONWALK!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
