Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
