Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
