I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
