Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
