I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize