i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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