She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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