I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When did angry sex become our thing?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
