wanna go halves on a baby?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
