He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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