I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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