You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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