My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize