i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
