Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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