What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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