$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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