guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
