well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
