She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
