I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
