This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
