you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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