oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
