I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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