Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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