Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
