so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
