I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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