We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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