Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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