Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
