sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
