I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
