no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
