we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
