Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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