i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
