I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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