just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
