they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
