i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
