Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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