I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All the doctor said was why
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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