i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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