I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize