I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize