just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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