So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
