It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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