think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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