So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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