I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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