Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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