would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize