like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
